Over the last couple of months, Kristin and I are seeing a plethora of pregnancy announcements in our news feeds, and seeing bulging bellies at meet-ups. The timing is traditional: as our tots and their peers reach the age of 2 and 2 1/2, their families are already busy planning for baby #2. While Kristin and I are not pregnant, we thought it would be fun to celebrate our blossoming friends with the following eCards:
Moving with a baby or young child can be a mixed bag of emotions and challenges. Everything from packing to settling in at the new home, the moving process can prove to be a lot more than just moving. Infants and toddlers will face several new routines, obstacles, and will need time to adjust to their new surroundings. New places for toys, new floor plans, with stairs or without, every detail can be enough to shake up the little one’s sense of comfort.
My recent move had it’s ups and downs for sure. On the upside, we were able to be involved with our new home early on – painting, repairs, etc. So, my 2 year old, Ladybug, became familiar with the new house and seemed excited to “visit” it. It wasn’t easy or safe, however, to have her running around in a house under construction. I tried to enlist help from her grandmas and grandpas who entertained her in the backyard as we worked on the new place. So really, Ladybug was part f the process early on.
Showing the old house to realtors and perspective buyers was a bit of a hassle. Having the house clean or at least straightened up at all times was tough. And baby girl watched as several people traipsed in and out of her home which could be unnerving for any kid. I will say though, that it did get her to open up a bit. Ladybug typically has stranger anxiety, yet the more people came around, the more she eased up.
After the old place sold, we had a couple of months until the big move. Packing started slowly with storage cabinets, closets and dishes. Once the bigger boxes entered the house, things got a little chaotic. Although Ladybug enjoyed playing in the boxes (best part about moving for kiddos is the boxes!), they were stacking up and cramping our 800 square foot condo. I tried to make the best of it, like playing a lot of hide-and-seek. We even played with long lost toys that had been hidden behind and under furniture for ages, so that helped. We also downloaded a Sesame Street App that we played together to help her understand what moving is all about.
Moving day was here at last, and it was a big hurdle. We couldn’t really hang out in the old house while all of the items around us were being moved out, and we’d be in the way at the new house as things were being moved in. So in hindsight, I should have planned an outing with Ladybug that day to get her out of the craziness. Instead, we shifted back and forth. She watched as things were coming and going and had a lot of tablet time that day. We sat on a blanket on the patio for a picnic-style dinner that evening being that the furniture was all in the moving truck. She kind of liked that part. Bedtime for my sweet girl came very late that night in the new house. After all, everything was different. We had her sleep in our bed to comfort her that night and we actually all slept soundly.
It did take a few weeks to feel really settled, but I do think that overall, the transition went fairly smooth. Perhaps the fact that Ladybug was acquainted with the new location early on or maybe the fact that the new digs offered more perks than the old. Whatever it was, I’m so relieved! There were trips and tumbles as she adjusted to the furniture placement and layout, but luckily nothing major.
I thought I’d share a few words and tidbits upon my recent move with a toddler:
What to expect – Behavior or mood changes. These little ones aren’t aware of what’s happening when you prepare to move, even if you have explained it over and over. They see toys leaving and furniture shifting which is enough to knock them off their routine a bit and have them acting a bit out of sorts. Also, new places can be scary at first, so baby may experience nightmares or sleepless nights.
How to prepare - Books, shows or apps that explain moving could familiarize your kiddo a bit. Also, a practice box is a neat idea. You and your child could pack and unpack things from their room and take the box into another room to open. Some little ones do better in situations where they are involved. Another idea is to set up furniture similar to that of the old house (especially in baby’s room) so it’s a bit more familiar. And finally, there’s the new toy at the new house trick. We were upgrading to a backyard which Ladybug had never had, so we purchased a little playset for her. It really helped to distract her as we settled in.
Good luck to any other mommas on the move. Please share your tricks and tips with us!
There are certain things I knew I be okay with as a mom: let my toddler watch limited amounts of TV, sleep-train my baby, make my own baby food, clean up after my child at restaurants (yes, I even pick his food up off the floor), and have a glass of wine after a rough day. These are just a few things that made perfect sense from the start.
Just as I was making decisions pre-baby about what kind of mom I’d be, I was also making decisions about the kind of mom I wouldn’t be. You know, the stuff I would NEVER do as a new mom.
Now, it appears, I’m a total hypocrite. Okay, maybe that’s too harsh. The truth is, I had no clue what it would be like to be a new parent–despite what I read or heard from friends–but now I know you can never say “never” when it comes to raising children. It’s important to stay open-minded, and try whatever works for you and your kid, because every situation is different.
Here’s 10 things pre-baby me swore I’d never do:
1. Change my baby’s diaper on the floor (without a pad) - This has never happened anywhere gross–usually just on carpet or a piece of furniture. I know it’s a little risky, but I like to live on the edge.
2. Feed my toddler french fries – Full disclosure: I end up eating half of them. Not that this makes it any better.
3. Feed my toddler non-organic produce – I really set out to give my baby the best of the best–especially when it comes to produce–but there are times he must slum-it and eat non-organic fare. I think he’ll still turn out okay.
4. Give my toddler sweets – In all fairness, REAL treats like ice cream or cookies are very occasional, but I have exposed him to some very delicious things in his less than 2 years of life–and I love seeing the excitement on his face as he eats it.
5. Bribe my kid with snacks and toys while shopping at Target – Sometimes you do what you gotta do. It’s TARGET, for crying out loud.
6. Stop nursing before 1 year – At 10 months, I had to face the realization that my milk was no longer abundant, no matter what I did to enhance it. My child was hungry, and I needed to move on to supplementing with formula. There is NO shame in not nursing all the way to 1 year–or at all. Pre-baby Lauren thought nursing would be a snap…boy, was she wrong!
7. Let my toddler go barefoot outside of the house – And guess what? He’s gone bottomless in my backyard and at the beach, too!
8. Let my kid eat off the floor – It happens. I don’t like it, but it happens. I just try to keep the floor as clean as possible.
9. Use a “leash” backpack – Oh yes, I SO went there. This little secret weapon was used at an airport recently, and BOY did I get looks. But guess what? MY child didn’t want to be in the stroller, and I didn’t want to lose him in a crowded airport. It’s that simple.
10. Post endless images and video clips of my child on Instagram and Facebook – And yes, I even brag about how cute and “cool” my kid is…even though we all know babies don’t know the first thing about being “cool.”
So, there you have it. I’m guilty of making statements and judgments on something I was clueless about. I’m sure we have all done it, and hopefully we learn from it. What did you say you’d never do? A few of our Facebook Fans had the following confessions to make:
“‘Because I said so.’ It just comes out so naturally, although I swore I would never do that! In my own defense, sometimes there is just another time and place for lengthy explanation owed!”
“Let my kid sleep with us!”
“Say my child’s WHOLE name when they were in trouble! Haha!”
“Watch TV! Or scold in public!”
Let’s face it, the reality is, our babies who want us around 24/7 will grow into children and teens who want nothing to do with us. It’s just the natural way of things. So, looking ahead at our future, here is a pretty awesome video. And if you’re a fan like me, the 1980′s was a time us 30 and 40 something moms totally appreciate. Go ahead, cut loose Momma!
It used to be that a sick day at work was miserable. I’d trudge through the day dealing with customers while feeling like absolute crap. Answering phones with a sore throat, walking all around the office with body aches, and all of the other joys of an illness while at the office. Fortunately, most of us can take a sick day when we are at our worst. That’s not really an option once we enter motherhood.
For stay-at-home or work-at-home moms, there isn’t a “sick day”. We typically juggle our nasty bug with little ones, housework, meals, errands and more. Our world doesn’t stop for a day while we recover, and we don’t get to put our obligations on the back burner. Some of us are lucky to have family or friends to help out which we should definitely take advantage of. However, that isn’t always an option.
Nowadays, a sick day at work (SAHM style), means having body aches but still carrying, rocking and picking up baby. Lying on the floor, using your achy body as a jungle gym, to entertain and play with your infant. Singing and reading to baby with a scratchy throat and getting up and out when all you want to do is stay in bed. It’s tough! Especially the first time around. The only reward (if you can call it that) is the powerful, mom-tastic feeling when it’s all over, knowing that we survived it.
And let’s not forget that there are often occasions when the whole family falls ill together. Such was the case in my house when we were all hit with the stomach flu. Baby, daddy and then mommy all sick for one long week. My mom duties shifted to health and housework mainly, keeping us all hydrated and constantly washing bedding and disinfecting the house. Absolutely miserable and something I NEVER want to repeat!
To conclude, motherhood leaves no room for wusses. When we are sick, our mom duties continue and we must power through even the worst days. And staying a step ahead will do you good. So tuck away a new book, dvd or toy for your baby to enjoy on your sickest of days, and ask for help. A sitter or grandparent could allow you a little rest time. Good luck mommies…you’ll get through it!
Although we all know of at least one fellow mom who’s body looks absolutely unaffected by pregnancy and childbirth, I think it’s safe to conclude that about 95% of our fellow moms don’t quite bounce back to their pre-baby bods. We hear the tales about body changes and that our bodies “will never be the same”, but it isn’t until after giving birth ourselves, that we truly understand this.
Before Ladybug was born, I like many women, struggled with body image issues and weight. In the few years after my wedding, leading up to my pregnancy, I was in the best shape of my life. I didn’t fully appreciate my body at that time and felt that I’d never accept my figure. On the bright side, at least I was healthy prior to conceiving my daughter – eating right and working out 3-4 times per week.
Upon the news of my pregnancy, I halted my workouts out of sheer worry that I’d hurt my unborn baby. I wish I had continued to workout regularly throughout maternity, but more about that later. My eating habits changed as well when morning sickness kicked in. Vegetables and various healthy foods made me gag and only salty carbs soothed my tummy. For about 2 months straight I binged on potatoes and burritos, then my appetite shifted toward the sweets to which I indulged! I was gaining weight which didn’t bother me for the first time in my life. Funny how pregnancy makes stuffing our faces and ballooning up suddenly acceptable.
After I delivered my precious daughter, I remember looking at my body and thinking that I still looked pregnant. I was just so bloated and it seemed to last for weeks. I knew it was normal and that I needed to give it time, and so I was patient for the first 2 months. And luckily Ladybug was breastfeeding so well which I knew would help me shed a few pounds. Unfortunately, I was eating so much more to keep my milk supply up that I was gaining a few pounds right back. And I was so physically tired and emotionally drained that even the thought of a walk around the block to get some exercise exhausted me.
So, there I was, one year after my daughter was born and feeling as if I’d never like the body I saw in the mirror. I even continued to wear maternity clothing so I didn’t have to face buying new, larger clothing. I was depressed and had absolutely no motivation. Suddenly, Ladybug began walking and soon was on the move. This helped tremendously. Keeping up with an active 1 year old really forces you to get active. Slowly, over the course of the next year, I was getting healthier. And by the time we reached Ladybug’s 2nd birthday, I was feeling good. Not great, as I still yearned to be stronger and work on the tummy area (never ending, right ladies?).
As of today, I still have body issues. Most of us do, some deeper rooted than others perhaps. I have a daughter though, which means I MUST get these issues under control. My girl will closely mimic me and will need to learn to love and respect her body. In order to be the powerful, grounded and all around best role model for Ladybug, I am now a 33 year old woman learning to appreciate her body for what it is. I cannot grieve my pre-baby body or put down my current figure. I can, however, improve it in a healthy way and learn to embrace it. Teaching Ladybug to love herself will be the best motivation for a healthier, and self-loving lifestyle.
A friend of mine recently chuckled when I referred to myself as a “Helicopter Mom.” She had never heard that term before, and I imagine she thought it was a pretty spot-on description of me. I have come to accept that I am the type of mom that follows my toddler around, nervously commentating on the things he’s trying to stick in his mouth and apologizing for the messes he is making–while simultaneously barking at him to “be careful” and to take “big steps!” …I can only imagine how annoying this is to the people around me.
Most parents start out with the same anxieties I have: contact with germs or fecal matter, potential injuries, choking, allergic reactions, skipping naps, refusing food/liquids, constipation, diarrhea, vomit…etc. But now it seems that many moms I know have eased-up a lot on those anxieties, and trust that their toddler will be fine in such situations. That’s fantastic, but that’s just not me. I wish I was the kind of “Zen Mom” who could just roll with it, and be okay with my toddler eating chalk or sand, because I am confident it will only make his immune system stronger. But I am not. I follow him around the playground (though, I am getting better at letting him have space); I cringe as he takes a tumble, or chews on sticks, and I even nag at him (get used to it, Son).
A lot of my friends joke that I need to relax, and let him be a kid, and I know that’s true to a certain extent. But what I find, is that sometimes when I let my guard down, he gets seriously hurt or contracts a nasty virus. I just can’t win! What I need to do, is find a sweet spot between Helicopter Mom and Zen Mom, and learn to let go of my deeply ingrained OCD tendencies. But how? I imagine it come with practice, and from being around both types of Mommas. Luckily I have many mommy-friends in both camps. I think small daily practices will help me let go of my need to control: not picking up toys until the evening, or letting Bubba bounce from the back yard to the living room with sand on his hands and feet (I can always vacuum later, right?).
For the record, I don’t think there is anything wrong with being 100% Helicopter Mom, or 100% Zen Mom–we all love our kids, and believe our parenting style is what is best for them. I just know that I feel so exhausted (mentally and physically) these days, and wonder if I am getting in my own way by being Helicopter Mom. Plus, I wouldn’t want my anxieties and OCD tendencies to rub off on Bubba.
So, here is the plan: I vow to become the type of mom who remains protective, yet is comfortable letting her child to navigate and learn a bit on his own. From what I hear, this crossbreed mom-style will most likely be forced upon me when I add another baby to the family, so I will find my sweet spot eventually. What type of mom are you?
While we honor our country’s freedom today with high flying flags and U.S.A. themed attire, let us take a moment to laugh, err, salute these patriotic overachievers. Thanks to Awkward Family Photos for this fantastic set of of goodies.