5 Things I Will Probably Never Do Again


Cheers! Remember Sunday Funday? Say goodbye, and move on.

Perhaps the toughest thing for me during my transition into Mommyhood, was facing the fact that my life has changed forever. People can tell you (I am literally telling you now) how much your life will change when you have a kid–or that your life is “no longer yours,” but you truly cannot grasp such reality until you are home for the first time on a Saturday night with your screaming newborn while your a-hole friends are checking-in on Facebook to the newest Gastropub. And posting pictures!

In the first few months, I battled with the blues–most of it hormone-induced–but a lot of emotions stemmed from the fact that my life as I knew it was GONE, and in place, was a life of servitude to an adorable-but-demanding little baby who always seemed pissed-off, and never cracked a smile for me. Of course, this is just a phase, and soon I grew to adore life with my little munchkin–house-arrest and all–but not without coming to terms with certain changes…


5 Things I Will Probably Never Do Again (and it’s okay!)

1. Drink until I black-out – This is way too scary now that I am responsible for another life. Even if I am in Vegas for a Girl’s Weekend, I still need to be somewhat coherent in case there is an emergency. Not to say I can’t drink (Momma’s definitely going to get her drink on) I  just can’t drink recklessly like I did during my early-mid twenties.  It’s actually a good thing, ladies.

2. Get annoyed by crying baby while out dining  – Give the baby (and parents) a break! I now understand the concept of “getting out of the house” on a whole new level! Going out for a meal is a huge deal now, and if the baby is being a baby, so be it! Keep in mind, I said BABY, not toddler…

3. Sleep in – No explanation needed. And by the time my kids are grown and out of the house, my damn internal clock will still wake me at 6:30 am. Boo.

4. Chew my food – Eating quickly, whenever possible, is a survival tactic these days. Sometimes I can’t even remember if I ate that day…which explains the growling tummy. When I do remember to perform the very important function, I slurp it down like Kobayashi. Can’t be healthy.

5. Pop a sleep aid – Ambien, Melatonin, Unisom, or even Nyquil are not happening anymore. I gotta be alert in case baby needs me in the middle of the night, so I can no longer swallow back a sleep aid like I did on those sleepless nights pre-pregnancy. The good news is, sleepless nights happen a lot less often now that I am exhausted ALL. THE. TIME., so I shouldn’t need them anyway. As for the nights I lie awake thinking about a million things I need to look up on Pinterest, I have learned to visualize things in order to fall asleep. This includes: my dream home, our next baby, future job opportunities, our next big trip, etc.

So, there you have it. A small list of things I will probably never do again now that I am a mom. Doesn’t look too brutal, especially considering the wonderful trade-off of being “Mommy” to a fantastic kid! So, go ahead and write down 5 things you will never do again, and come to terms with it. Once you do that, you will learn to enjoy this wild ride without resentment. Cheers to the “new” you!

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